"God writes part of our story through the people He sends into our lives; some chapters bring comfort, others bring growth, but all have purpose." -- Sandi
Purpose in Every Relationship
God places people in our life for a reason. But when we are living it day by day in real relationships, at times it can feel far more complicated than comforting. But one fact is certain—every person in our life serves a purpose.
Some encourage us while others challenge us. Some walk beside us through life's sweetest moments, and others teach us difficult lessons through their actions. The good experiences show us what to cherish, while the hard ones teach us wisdom, strength, grace, and discernment.
The people God places in our lives may be a blessing, a lesson, or sometimes both. We learn either way.
Not everyone who enters our life story is meant to stay forever, but every person leaves a footprint on our journey, and every lesson helps prepare us for what lies ahead. As we grow, we can be grateful for every relationship that has shaped us into who we are today.
Some people love you well. They show up, pray for you, stand with you, and bring peace into your life. They strengthen your faith without even trying. I'm so thankful to have many people in my life who love me well.
And then, there are the hard ones. The ones who misunderstand, twist words, question motives, or stir tension where there was peace. The ones who criticize, compete, or sow discord between you and the people you love.
Am I speaking to where you are right now?
I think we all have some of this and it's ongoing. And if we are honest, these relationships can shake us. We are trying to love like Christ while also trying not to lose our peace. That tension is real. And Scripture never asks us to deny it, but we are called to walk in both love and wisdom.
There is a difference between loving someone and allowing them to have free access to your heart, your home, or your closest relationships. Love does not mean lack of discernment. And forgiveness does not always mean restitution.
When my mother became ill with cancer and passed away, one of my brothers told me that during challenging times, you see the real character and integrity (or lack of) in people. Sometimes people accuse others of what they themselves would do if given the chance. He was right!
Often, the hurtful words and actions come from a place of hurt that was never healed. Unhealed wounds have a way of shaping how people see the world. They project old pain onto present situations, and it causes them to assume the worst instead of believing the best. What is spoken about others can sometimes reveal more about the speaker’s inner wounds than about the truth of the one being spoken against.
That is where wisdom is needed. And grace. Not everyone deserves equal weight in your life. Not every opinion deserves a place in your heart. And not every relationship is meant to be handled the same way.
Some people will draw you closer to God. Others will pull you into confusion, tension, and unrest.
The difference is often not obvious at first but given time, fruit is revealed. Scripture says, “By their fruit you will recognize them” (Matthew 7:16).
The Fruit You Can Look For
- Peace or chaos
- Clarity or confusion
- Humility or constant conflict
- Truth or distortion
- Love or division
I don't ever want to be the one that people wish I had never come into their life. I want to be an encourager. "For such a time as this..."—Esther 4:14
Did I mention about showing love, mercy and grace as Christ has shown each of us? There are wounded people among us. Maybe even sitting at your table. Show love, mercy, and grace.
Pause and Reflect
- Who has God placed in your life that has helped shape the person you are today, and what have you learned from them?
- What difficult relationship or challenging season has taught you a lesson you now value and carry with gratitude?
- How can you honor the people who have impacted your journey while embracing the wisdom gained from those who tested it?
Where Do We Go From Here
1. Choose Gratitude. Reflect on the people who have shaped your life and thank God for them—both the ones who brought joy and the ones who brought growth. Gratitude helps us see purpose where we once saw only circumstances.
2. Carry Forward the Lessons. Take the wisdom you've gained and apply it intentionally. Let the positive examples inspire you, and let the difficult experiences guide you toward healthier choices, deeper faith, and greater understanding.
3. Encourage Others. Just as others have influenced your journey, you have the opportunity to influence someone else's. Offer encouragement, kindness, grace, and wisdom. Become the person someone else will one day look back on with gratitude.
The Heart Comes Home. A Conversation with God
“Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge” Psalm 62:8.
Prayer is a conversation with our Father. We come just as we are, bringing what we carry, what we hope for, and what we don't understand. No perfect words are required. This is simply a place to be still, open our hearts, and talk with God.
Let's pray together.
Heavenly Father, give us wisdom to love without losing peace. Heal what has been wounded in our hearts, especially the wounds caused by others who are wounded. Teach us to forgive without reopening what keeps breaking us. Help us to walk in truth, set healthy boundaries without guilt, and remain free from bitterness. Let our hearts stay soft, but our steps be wise. Keep us anchored in Your peace above all else. In Jesus' name, Amen.
As I reflect on the people God has placed in my life, I am reminded that we are all works in progress. Some have blessed me, some have challenged me and taught me difficult lessons. Through it all, God's grace has carried me. It is His grace that helps me forgive, His wisdom that teaches me discernment, and His peace that guards my heart. Amazing grace helps us face hard truths without becoming hard-hearted.
Grace. That's what many of us need right now. Reflect on God's grace.
As you go about your day, keep these scriptures in mind. Allow its message to remind you of God's grace in everything you say and do.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”—Ephesians 4:32.
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good”—Romans 12:9.
Friends, thank you for sharing your time with me today. Be blessed and until next time, remember...your stories matter.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Eph. 4:32
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” — Romans 12:9
Before You Go...
Here are some additional resources and stories you might enjoy.
Reflect on God's grace while listening to Chris Tomlin, "Amazing Grace My Chains Are Gone."
Life in the Gardens My garden blog. You will find stories and lots of photos of our gardens.
Visit my Bookshop This is where you'll find information about all my books and where or how to purchase.
“There is a difference between loving someone and allowing them to have free access to your heart, your home, or your closest relationships.” This is a profound statement, and something I’m still learning. Guarding my own heart doesn’t mean I don’t love the other person. I must listen to Holy Spirit and follow His guidance.
Yes, we must listen to the guiding of the Holy Spirit, continue to love and use discernment. Set boundaries when necessary.
Thank you Gail. Yes, relationships are one of the hardest parts of life and at the same time, the most rewarding. I ordered a tshirt that has a quote, “Walking by faith, tripping constantly.” Some days I am tripping like Paul where in Romans 7:19, he describes the struggle of wanting to obey God but struggling with human weakness.
Ralationships are one of the hardest parts of life. We all want to do it right and follow the examples of Jesus. These words are so wise and helpful for knowing the next steps when our circumstances are not perfectly clear.