Grace in Brokenness

It was February 2008. My mom, when she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in late December 2007, came to my home so I could care for her. We all came together, my brothers and their families, focused on spending every moment possible together, disregarding any broken relationships and holding on to one another, giving lots of hugs.

Our son was home for a short break from war. My brother and sister-in-law came from Texas and stayed. Other family came and we were all together under one roof. In the cold weather, my oldest brother fixed an outside water leak. I stood by him while he worked and we talked. That was a small detail to remember, but it mattered to me. My mom bought a guitar for one of my brothers, a guitar to replace one he sold years ago. She wanted to hear him play again. It thrilled her to give him the gift and in turn, he gave her the gift of music. As he strummed the chords, music filled the house. She smiled. We all did.

It was a time of family togetherness. Remembering times of childhood. Meals around the table. Forcing laughter at times when all we wanted to do was cry. We were already grieving, knowing what was coming and precious time was slipping through our fingers like sand.

My Chains Are Gone

Some days, when my mother and I were alone, I brought out the china and by candlelight we enjoyed sitting at the dining room table for our noon meal. We were only two at a family table that seats ten or twelve. Even so, in the flickering of the candle, I saw her smile. Even laugh. I knew she was enjoying these special moments of doing the unexpected. In the flickering candlelight, I saw grace.

She loved the movie, Amazing Grace, and we watched it over and over. It was the song in the movie that brought tears to our eyes. Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone. We talked about the beautiful grace that God had shown by allowing us to be mother and daughter. We talked about the many times we witnessed God’s grace to our family. We talked about how grace, His amazing grace, meant that whatever the days ahead might bring, it was not the end. We would be together again. With everyone. The more we talked about God’s grace in the middle of our sorrow, the chains of impending death lifted and those final days were times of joy and peace. God’s amazing grace shining like a candle, casting light in a dark time.

Grace Forever 

Here I am, years later, so thankful that God’s grace is unending, His love is unfailing, and His mercy is everlasting. The flame of grace still burns. From year to year. Generation to generation.

Be encouraged. Don’t lose hope.

Today, let grace be your filter for the chaos around you. Enjoy each day, every moment you have. Bring out the china and light the candles. Let grace pour over you, and wash you with peace. As you are consumed by grace, it will fill your heart and push out doubt and fear. Grace. It’s what we all need and it is freely given.

 Let’s Pray

Lord, when our hearts feel heavy and fear creeps in, help us lean on You. Thank You for Your grace that covers what we cannot fix and calms what we cannot control. Let Your grace settle our thoughts, quiet our worries, and soften our sorrow. Help us remember that You are with us in every moment, holding us when we feel weak and carrying us when the way feels hard. Today, we choose to trust You, resting in the assurance that Your grace is enough. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Pause and Reflect

• Where might God be asking you to release control and trust Him with what you cannot change?
• How does remembering God’s past faithfulness help steady your heart for what lies ahead?
• What legacy of faith, love, or grace has been passed down to you, and how are you carrying it forward?

There are moments in life when words alone cannot fully capture what our hearts feel. When grief and joy, sorrow and love, all mingle together, sometimes music speaks what we cannot.  Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) by Chris Tomlin was that song for my mom and me. Take a moment and listen, let the melody wash over you and the words remind you that God’s grace is unending, His love is unfailing, and His mercy is forever. Picture the candlelight flickering, the china set for a simple meal, and allow yourself to be carried into a place of peace where grace meets every corner of your heart.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.